As Wendy brought up that racism can't be weeded out by the decline of an older generation and is now more sly and crafty with the younger generations and communication technologies.
I wanted to ask you all if you've experienced forms of racism or discrimination that has been considered "sly" or "crafty" by members of the younger generation, and if so what was your response? Or what has been your personal experience with discrimination?
For example, I work in a restaurant and on more occasion than I would prefer men feel they have the right to touch me. Part of my job is to describe the daily specials that we offer to every guest and as I was doing so, a man who was at the table I was interacting with leaned over and brushed his hand against my face. I instantly felt violated and extremely uncomfortable and really didn't know how to react to a complete stranger touching my face. During that instance I questioned if I should go along with it, but if I say something will it affect my tip? How does this overt form of sexism differ among genders with a significant form of power distance?
Hi Ally!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your experience - during my work in customer service I have had to frequently interact with people who make inappropriate comments about my appearance and who want to hug me or otherwise touch me. My interpretation of these events is that these people are taking advantage of the unequal power differential that occurs when someone is working in their interest (i.e. making the customer happy), but they are not working in your interest, they are also working in their interest. This power imbalance is what makes people feel empowered to say and do things that they probably would not if they were to interact with you in a setting in which you were both equals. For example, if we were both customers it would be less likely that the other person would make comments about my appearance.
I have made attempts to correct these violations of my comfort by saying things like "Please do not say things like that, I do not like that." This indication that they are acting inappropriately does seem to reduce future inappropriate behavior, but the customers are often in edge in future interactions. Thankfully I work people who will support me if these customers were to ever wish to try and get me in trouble for voicing my dissent to their actions, but it is still a difficult situation to maneuver.
I feel that after our multiple class discussions about diversity and difference I can better understand why people might act in ways that violate others' sense of safety and comfort. I know now that oftentimes people do not mean to make others uncomfortable; usually they are just unaware of what they are doing and why the other person is reacting the way they are. It is interesting, then, to see how people react when their misbehavior is pointed out to them. Although everyone in our class has been very open-minded and accepting in our class discussions, other people are not often this way. Pointing out a misbehavior on their part may seem like an attack to them, and may make the communication situation even more volatile. Nobody said that communication was simple - it takes patience and practice to be able to step back and evaluate a situation.
As communication ethics literacy and differences includes the process of learning discernment differences and facing with disagreements, there are necessities to communication to people about personal feelings in a proper way, based on interpersonal communication with different distances.
ReplyDeleteUnder your case, though it is necessary for you to earn tips from your guests, it does not mean that you need to tolerant their improper behaviors, the relationship between waiters and clients is simple and the most remote in interpersonal communication. If you concern about your tips, maybe you can turn to your boss for help or tell your clients in indirect way like stepping a little apart from them to keep a proper distances between you and your clients.
As people in our generation have grown up, our country has greatly changed in its cultural and ethnic diversity. I feel that our generation was taught to be accepting of others at a young age, and the concept of the golden rule has been greatly stressed throughout our years of schooling. This has led to us being able to perhaps better discuss controversial topics that can divide the public. Although we may be more open to discussion about these topics, things such as racism and discrimination are still very much alive and apparent in members of our generation. In this age of social media, I still see racism being blatantly displayed in posts and comments on various outlets. Social media sites often contain news articles that are open for comment from anyone, including extremists and internet "trolls" who aim to say egregious things in order to make people upset. The internet is the most massive interactive space in the world and contains exponential amounts of people with differing goods and ethical ideals. It can be a great place for constructive discussion, but can also foster destructive attitudes and thoughts that tear people apart.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to respond in regards to the questions that you brought up in our class discussion, which were, "is the discussion about the difference about racism, sex and transitioning more generational? and If so, is our generation more open to discussing these topics versus older generations?" I feel that this question has multiple layers and things that need to be considered. I do feel that the younger generations to some extent have been taught to be more tolerant to difference than the older generations. We have had the oppurtunity to learn from more historical events, civil movements, and general interactions with those that are different than us in many different ways. That being said I also feel that a lot of this opportunity has come from education, movies, and media. People have a tendency to not talk about issues that they feel will create confrontation or be difficult to discuss. Issues such as these can have a dialogue that is hard to work though, especially when someone questions your beliefs on the issue, stands on the opposite side, and for any number of other reasons. Unless both parties are willing to negotiate non judgemental open conversation, such as that in dialogic ethics it is hard to create a learning environment or promote change. I think that these conversations in general only take place doing a crisis communication situation, and at this point people have already built a believe based on behaviors and things that they have seen demonstrated throughout their life. If you grew up in a home that promoted diversity, you would be more likely to discuss and look at that side of the situation. If you grew up in an environment that did not, there is a possibility, without further learning, that you wouldn't look to the side of diversity. With technology these days our generation has much more access to social media where we retrieve our own information and research. People who harbor a prejudice are able to reach out to other people all over the world that share their beliefs and express themselves all the while hiding this part of themselves from friends, family, and co workers. After tragic events and investigations into the person responsible things like this are discovered all the time.
ReplyDeleteWith all that being said, I feel that it isn't a generational thing. I feel that through all generations there have always been people on both sides of the issue. As with most issues that have evolved over time different facits that evolve can create subtler forms of prejudice within an issue.
To the other question that you posed about experiencing "sly" or "crafty" racism by the younger generation, I wanted to share a story. A few years back I went home for a wedding of a highschool friend of mine. Due to car toubles one of my friends, who is Indian volunteered to drive me home, so he accompanied me to the wedding. While we were at the reception, I went to the bar to get drinks while he was out dancing with my mom. A small group of people that I went to high school with were at the bar and we all started talking. A few minutes into the conversation one of them looks at me and says, "Is that your boyfriend?". I told him no and that he was just a good friend of mine. The look on his face was obvious, so I had to ask why he asked. The response that came out of his mouth was. "well, he's" and then he gestured toward him. I grabbed the drinks and said, " a really good dancer" and walked away. No outward signs, no obvious comments, just a sly gesture.
Do you think that these subtle or sly forms of prejudice or racism manifest from the belief that there is still an assumption of common sense?
I have never experienced racism, homophobia (being white it's unlikely, and I'm straight) but I have experienced sexism. In my mom's generation (she's 69) it was very overt; she was required to wear skirts to work even on days when it was so cold doing so was a danger. It was also the cultural norm that she would quit her job when she had her first child, and that my dad would go to work to provide for the family, which adversely affected both of them.
ReplyDeleteNow that it's 40+ years later, there is still sexism, but it's less overt, more on the sly as was discussed in class. Male customers at my workplace will occasionally address me with terms of endearment that I would only be comfortable hearing from a close friend or some family; women have the choice to work after having a baby, but many people try to passive-aggressively guilt them for it. I'm sure every working mother has heard some variation of "oh, but won't you miss your baby?" (I, personally, would need to go to work to get a break from my baby. I know I would love him or her within an inch of my life, but being around anyone nonstop is too much.)
There are also countless examples of women getting dirty looks for breast feeding in public, men thinking they have the right to touch women because it wasn't in a sexual way (like you described) and unsolicited comments about age and desire for motherhood.
So, yes, -isms still exist, it's undeniable, but I think there is a fair argument that brazen -isms are less overt than they used to be. There may not be a male HR manager telling me he can't hire me for a director role, but he may think "she's later in her child bearing years, she's too much of a risk for pregnancy/maternity leave" then think of another excuse for not hiring me.
Great discussion, Ally!
ReplyDeleteI do think those three issues are indeed generational, but I think the older generation is a lot more versed in those issues than the younger generation, just because they've seen them and how they have evolved in consecutive decades.
When I moved to Las Vegas in 2011, I got a job selling cars at the top Volkswagen dealership in town, and besides the fact that the car business is quite possibly the worst business in the world, the salespeople themselves were extremely rude, at times racist, extremely sexist, and only comported themselves decently in front of customers. I don't remember the exact situation, but a long-tenured salesman made a comment to me about how "I should know something because I was Mexican." I'm not Mexican (I'm Filipino), but the pure ignorance that came out of this man's mouth was extremely offensive, and I didn't hesitate to correct him. Needless to stay, my tenure at the dealership didn't last long, but the people that worked there certainly left a lasting negative impression on me and how I approach car dealerships in general.
Thank you for your experinence! In my opinionm, people in future generation will accept the differences on racism, sex, and other controversial issues much better than us since they will experience much more globalization. Even I, as a single person, changed my attitude toward those differences a lot within few years. When I was young, I had such a negative stereotype on foreign workers who were mostly from undeveloped countreis because they looked different, spoke differently, and behave differently as well. Also, there were some crimes such as murders took place a lot and many of them were committed by them who had hatred on not only their boss because they didn't get paid well and but also Korean as a result. However, since I came to the US and expriences many different people, lifestyle, cultures, and environments, I greatly expanded my visiona and no more had bias on people only becaus they were different from me and my culture. Therfore, people in future generatioan, who has more chacen to experience globalization and differences, will deal with those issues well, rather than discriminating each other.
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