"Interpersonal communication ethics presupposes that one cannot impose a particular type of relationship on another, nor can one demand a relationship from another" (128). I feel like this is very true. People cannot force a relationship with one another not matter what your intention is. One's demand about relationship can't be fulfilled just like that. There is process in relationships that one must do in order for them to achieve the relationship goal that one wants to have with the other person.
So I just moved here this semester and I live with a roommate that i didn't know. We facebook messaged each other when we hadn't met and we say things like "can't wait to meet you!" I felt pretty good and confident that we would be friends. However, things didn't go as I imagined it would be. We never really talk to each other and even worse, sometimes we just pretend like one another doesn't exist when we're in the living room together. It is very awkward and I really would love for us to at least talk so we're not in this oddly awkward relationship. However, I couldn't force this relationship and force to be friends with her. If it is forced, I'm 100% sure that things will get even worse than right now. "Without demand, relationships suffer, and with constant demand, relationships cease to have the character of what this chapter calls interpersonal communication ethics" (130). That sentence from the textbook really applies to real life, like in my situation. I can't really demand her to talk to me but if I don't, things will continue like this until the lease is over.
Hi Joceline,
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry you moved here and the one person you anticipated to be your friend turned out to be a distant person. It must be very hard to be in a new place and having that experience. This is actually part of Culture Shock, which I will be giving my presentation on soon. I like how you connected with the book and the idea that relationships have to be formed naturally. Relationships are such an important part of our lives and if they lack the correct foundation they can seriously have negative impacts on us. Some relationships, like those with co-workers, sometimes cannot be formed without demand and unfortunately we have to adapt to them. However, personal relationships with constant demand do cease to exist, and I believe this is because psychologically we are engineered to give and take and we get a feeling of pleasure out of that; if we are constantly walking on eggshells the pressure can become intense and we are no longer ourselves because we are so focused on forcing something to happen. Losing the sight of the good of the relationship at the cost of losing oneself creates a superficial relationship without rewards.
Hang in there, I am sure you will find many friends here at the U if you let things run their course and happen naturally!
Best of luck!