Communication
awareness is necessary when establishing interpersonal relationships or
maintaining relationships over time. One strategy that is important to consider
when developing ways to maintain a strong interpersonal relationship is Distance. Distance helps each individual
develop a sense of his or her own novelty and autonomy, which has less impulse
for demand from each other over time. Less proximity can help guide comfortable
relational patterns within the initial or long-term relationship. Ronald Arnett
states, “Distance permits us to see the details more clearly”(Pg. 124).
Therefore, seeing details more clearly means we are able to grasp all elements
of a communication pattern with another and therefore conduct our future
conversations in a more ethical way with also better perspective.
I have always
liked the expression, “ you don’t know what you have until its gone”, because
it reminds you of people that could have be taken for granted unconsciously due
to the routine of their presents in your life. I’m guessing most people have come
across this emotion one time or another. Communication can sometimes become repetitive
and then it takes ‘distances’ to realize exactly what the importance of the
other person was to you. Arnett mentions that when we overrun reality we don’t
allow relationship to grow at the speed necessary for it to be a healthy
engagement (Pg. 124). This form of distance creates a space that is not just
empty but room for the relationship, whatever type it might be to develop and
permitting time for the communication to development without attempting to rush
it.
A more popular
example would be a couple that has been married for a while. One of my brothers
and his wife both work together in a hospital, run their kids back and forth to
sporting events, and do a lot of couple dinners with friends. You can tell when
tension is building up within them do to their non-verbal communication and
sharp comments that others might seem uncomfortable. This would be an example
of not allowing distance into their relationship because of the close proximity
every day. As Arnett suggest, distance is needed in order to contribute to a conversation. If they do
everything together, how is their relationship through dialogue being
maintained because the other already knows the answer? In summary distance is
important and is not a flaw but a responsibility that
provides nourishment into the relationship.
I agree with you that "absence makes the heart grow fonder," but sometimes it seems that finding the correct amount of distance in a relationship can be difficult. My parents, for example, have been married for 25 years now and like you said with your brother and his wife, you can tell when they have spent too much time around each other and they start getting short-tempered. They normally thrive spending a lot of time with each other and don't need too much distance in their relationship to stay happy together. But then there are some relationships that are hurt from having too much distance, such as with long-distance relationships. Going back to our textbook's theme of difference, there really is no one way towards understanding what the right amount of distance in a relationship is because everybody is so different.
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