In reading chapter 7 "Interpersonal Communication Ethics," a few obvious points stuck out to me. This method of communication is strictly about more intimate relationships. More importantly it is about how people keep or don’t keep the appropriate distance between them to nurture a relationship while being conscious of the other person. In these relationships two communicators are constantly having to observe the other person and how they are reacting to the developing relationship. As soon as one person in the relationship does not take the other person into consideration, the good of the relationship is gone. Even when the two people in a relationship are on the same page, so to speak, they still need to be aware that their relationship is evolving and they still need to keep the appropriate distance.
There is one glaring example of interpersonal communication that really sticks out to me about this chapter. This is the idea of “DTR” or “defining the relationship.” As humorous as it is, it is a real thing that I have heard so many people stress over. When two people are getting close to being in a “Facebook official” relationship there is constant pressure from friends and themselves to define what they are as a couple. When there is this pressure there can be a loss of the good of the relationship. As our textbook states on page 129, “…the relationship cannot be demanded.” The second it is overtly demanded, it starts to falter. The pressure to DTR can put an inappropriate distance within the two people in the relationship. One person could be on a completely different page than the other, and all of a sudden neither person is putting the same focus on keeping the other in the realm of responsibility in the relationship. In order for any relationship between an intimate group of people to work they have to stick to the principles of interpersonal communication. It’s not something we think about consciously, but it is always something we are working towards and striving for.
Good point Ashley about the idea that both people in the relationship need to know what the other one might be thinking.
ReplyDeleteI just heard a comedian joke this morning "I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a girl that isn't going to be happy that I just said that."
And I laughed out loud thinking, how many times have I heard that from a guy friend or a girl friend. "I think we are dating? I don't know I am too scared to ask."
Its interesting to be in a class where communication seems easy, but it's not. Communication seems like common sense, but it's not. Communication seems like it would just work between a small group of people better than a big group of people but it doesn't always.
I think of TV shows and movies- most of the genre "rom/com" wouldn't even work if people were more adept at interpersonal communication ethics. Those missed conversations and unspoken thoughts would all neatly happen and the movie would be over in 10 minutes.