I found the way that our authors define interpersonal communication ethics to be very interesting. Arnett et al (2009) define an interpersonal communication as one that is focused on the good of the relationship (p.123). This definition differs from how I would normally define interpersonal communication as occurring between two people. After further reflection, I understand that my definition of interpersonal communication isn't precise enough because it does not account for the sense of intimacy that interpersonal communication is supposed to include. After all, can I really consider all of my interactions with random people at work or school as interpersonal in nature, even when most of the time the interaction is only occurring in order to exchange simple information? These interactions do not do anything to further the relationship; there is no increase of intimacy occurring here.
According to the authors, out of respect for the other person we should not attempt to increase relational closeness too quickly. In describing the importance of distance in a relationship, Arnett et al (2009) say that "Distance calls us to nourish a relationship that is historically appropriate, not necessarily the definition of relationship that we demand of the Other or want for ourselves" (p.126). By historically appropriate the authors mean appropriate to your history with that person, for example if you have just met this person or if you have been friends with them for years. This is where ethics come into play - it is unethical for someone to demand more out of a relationship than their history with that person would suggest is appropriate. Considering this idea, do you think that "love at first sight" is a violation of interpersonal communication ethics? Why or why not?
I totally agree with you. Considering what we can take advantage from the communication ethics in daily life, this chapter discussed about the most useful ideas. Interpersonal communication is not only among friends, family or other intimate people, but also coworkers and even strangers on a street. Unlike public discourse or health care communication ethics, interpersonal communication is critical to have relationship with others. I think distance and responsibility are two key points we should put in our mind at interaction.
ReplyDeleteYour question at the ending of your post is very interesting to consider. I would not say love at first sight is a violation of interpersonal communication ethics because it is just natural and unintentional occurring. However, distance and demand would be more complicated in the case. Love at first sight itself does not matter in ethics, but the situation that we don’t know anything about the person’s background and personality could make our distance uncomfortable for the person. Therefore, what we have learned in chapter7 gives ideas of how we are supposed to build healthy relationship under the good of relationship.
I was really intrigued by your question: "Do you think that "love at first sight" is a violation of Interpersonal communication Ethics?" I think that this depends on the way that the people deal with this feeling. If it is mutual and they can navigate the space together and develop a relationship history with each other then, I don't believe that it is a violation. They don't have a history with each other that they could be violating, they just met, and both are opening up their lives and moving things forward at an agreed upon pace. However, on the opposite side of that, if the "love at first sight" isn't mutual and is only one sided, I believe that it would be a violation. This is the perfect example of "overrunning reality" from the text, which means attempting to be closer than time, interaction, and interests have yet made possible. (124) When "love at first sight" is one sided and that person tries to communicate those feelings, take the relationship to a place that the other person doesn't want it to go, or just isn't as far along because the history of their relationship doesn't give way to this type of interaction then it is a violation of interpersonal communication ethics. A relationship needs to be permitted to progress naturally. So taking this thought one step further, do you think that if falling in "love at first sight" is one sided, the relationship can progress naturally or will that person always be "overrunning reality"?
ReplyDeleteVery interesting and insightful post!
ReplyDeleteI agree with both Jona and Shiori here in that "love at first sight" isn't a violation of interpersonal communication, especially if the feeling is mutual between both people. Jonah put it best in that if the feeling is indeed mutual between both, then they can navigate the space together and develop a history. I think the big concern is with personal history and the fact that, even if two people do fall in love at first sight, their personal histories still need to be revealed to each other, and I think that's where the concept of distance and responsibility come in. You have to be responsible with the kind of personal information you're willing to reveal to this person, and this dictates how close you two can be or become.
Love at first sight makes me think of this commercial I saw circulating on facebook a little while ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLpDiIVX0Wo
Have you ever seen the movie No Strings Attached? With Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman? Towards the end of the movie, the character that plays Ashton's Kutcher's dad says a very meaningful quote regarding this exact thing: "We don't get to pick who we fall in love with, and it never happens like it should." I'll end my post with that :)